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Freyja Haraldsdóttir: 22 random things that make me tired as a disabled woman

Many thanks to Freyja Haraldsdóttir for allowing us to reblog this post. We met her in Leeds at the Screening AccSex meeting at the Center for Disability Studies, Leed Iniversity. So many of us could respond to the feelings she expresses here – 

I am tired of often needing to value other people’s needs more than my own.

I am tired of being anxious about small events because of the fear of being marginalized and silenced.

I am tired of people over and over again assuming my opinions on sexism and ableism are just an emotional reaction instead of opinions based on diverse knowledge and deep experience of both.

I am tired of feeling like a bad feminist when I can’t show matters of privileged women support who don’t acknowledge or understand my reality.

I am tired of people finding it okay when Hollywood presents disabled people better of dead.

I am tired of everyone but myself having more authority to decide on my abilities and strength.

I tired of my body being objectified as desexualized, weak and emotionless.

I am tired of people I love excusing ableist people.

I am tired of needing to pick out a president candidate or other people for powerful positions who I don’t identify with and will therefore have big problems understanding my reality.

I am tired of ableism being normalized on a higher level in my country then sexism and racism (not that that isn’t normalized enough).

I am tired of people not understanding multiple oppression and that I can not pick out identities like clothes to wear everyday. I am always both a woman and disabled. Not either or.

I am tired of not being able to trust that my independence is longterm because in Iceland personal assistance is still a trial project. My freedom is on trial.

I am tired of being afraid of sharing what I find hard because then I automatically become victimized.

I am tired of sometimes not being able to sleep from worries about the influence of marginalization on my future.

I am tired of people constantly asking ‘how is it going?’ in stead of ‘how are you feeling?’.

I am tired of not being allowed to be angry because it makes others uncomfortable.

I am tired of not being allowed to show difficult emotions without being stigmatized as negative and unhappy when I am most definitely not.

I am tired of not having space to talk about physical pain without my life being stigmatized as not worth living.

I am tired of many people not caring about everything mentioned above.

I am tired of not being allowed to be tired.

I am tired of being tired of being tired.

I am so tired.

There is also this great speech she gave at 100 years of Women’s Civil Rights. International Conference Celebrating the Centenary of Women’s Suffrage in Iceland, October 22.-23. 2015. (speech transcript)

2 responses to “Freyja Haraldsdóttir: 22 random things that make me tired as a disabled woman”

  1. Jemimah says:

    My name is Jemimah from Kenya in East Africa, I am physically challenged and i advocate for the rights of persons living with different abilities. this was so wonderful and am glad to know there other women with disabilities who are raising our voices.

    In Africa persons living with disabilities are still marginalized and living in abject poverty and we thought developed countries are better than us but the cry and discrimination is still the same.

    Lets network because together our voices can be heard more.

    Thank you.

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